Dealing With Manipulative Children - How to Stop Manipulative Children From Controlling You

Dealing with manipulative adults is one thing, but dealing with manipulative children is something else entirely.

It's a lot more challenging to handle such a situation because you're talking about kids here. They know how much power they have and how little you can do to them. And if you're unfortunate enough, you might be dealing with your very own children.

Dealing with manipulative children requires a certain finesse. You can't just charge into a situation without a game plan. Lucky for you, this article will tell you just what to do.

1) Show Them Who's Boss.

Kids may cry, stomp, sulk and throw tantrums all they want, but you can't give in. A lot of people make the mistake of giving the kids what they want just to get the whole scene over with. However, that only teaches the kids how effective their techniques are.

When dealing with manipulative children, you cannot allow yourself to show any sign of weakness. Sure, sending your kid to bed early or to the "naughty" corner is hard for any parent, but discipline must be instilled.

Be firm with your decisions. After a while, you should also explain to them why what they did was wrong, to put everything into perspective.

2) Be Logical Instead Of Emotional.

When dealing with manipulative children, you have to prepare your emotions for a storm. Kids will try their best to appeal to you in every way possible.

To keep yourself on your path, stay logical. When the conversation turns into an argument, use logic to make your point. Emotions are fuzzy and will not be convincing enough.

For example, your kid might try pleading with you to attend a certain party. They will use every puppy dog trick in the book to get you to give them permission. But if you really don't want to allow your kid to go out - or you do not want to extend the kid's curfew - you're going to need to bring up every reasoning skill you have under your sleeve. And remember to keep your tone final. Know when to end the discussion.

3) Explain Your Own Emotions.

Sometimes, kids don't realize that their manipulative ways are hurting other people. Try to talk to the kid about your feelings and how it's wrong to manipulate others for their own benefit.

This is not a conversation to be had on the breakfast table, just before they go to school. Do this during a time when you know they don't have a lot in mind.

Dealing with manipulative children won't be easy at first. But if you follow these tips, you'll be able to avoid such situations and even turn the whole thing around.

Better Strategies For Dealing With Toddlers and Preschoolers

Over the last few years I've come across countless situations were parents feel like they don't know how to deal with toddlers and preschoolers. Parents get stressed out because of the "bad behavior" and I've received plenty of emails from those who feel that they've failed at being a parent. If this describes you then I'd like to invite you to enter my world and learn more about how you can take advantage of language as a toolbox for change. Parenting toddlers and preschoolers can go back to being fun again. All you need is a willingness to learn, and an appreciation for new advice.

Remember when your baby was born? Sure, it was stressful at times. It was a huge change in your life. You didn't always know why your child was crying. But you quickly discovered the main culprits of temperature, hunger, gas, a soiled diaper, or fatigue. Those were rather easy problems to solve, and you didn't need any special skills. You didn't have to ask your baby what was wrong. You just learned to figure it out based on "reading" your baby's behavior.

Then sometime between 12-24 months your baby became a toddler. Crawling turned into walking, and mutterings turned into real words. Your child would point at things, ask for things, and literally freak out if you said "No". Am I right so far?

I'm going to give you the single most important advice that I think all parents of toddlers need to understand. Ready? Accept that children in the age range of two to four have almost no reasoning skills. Logic is usually a bad way to approach a problem. That's it. Once you appreciate this, your ability to prevent tantrums will have suddenly skyrocketed.

One of my pet peeves is when people write advice about what not to do, but they don't give you any useful suggestions on how to replace the old habit. So let me expand upon this statement. Let's pretend that your toddler or preschooler is messing around in the kitchen and is dragging pots and pans out of the cabinet. You know that you'll have to clean this up. You want the behavior to stop. Be honest now. In this situation, would you normally just tell your child to "stop" and take them out of the kitchen? If you answered "yes", then you've tried to solve the problem by using logic, or by assuming your child will understand that this behavior is not allowed. Guess what? It almost always results in a tantrum.

So what do you do instead of using logic? Start managing your toddler's state of mind. Change the focus of his or her attention. Use distraction or confusion techniques to create an opportunity to shift your child to a new activity. There are plenty of ways to deal with toddlers that don't involve rational explanations or logic.

Here's a quick way to get your toddler out of a messy situation without a fight. First, enter the child's world. Say, "I see you are playing with these pots and making a lot of nose. That must be a lot of fun!" Next, start to distract your child with something simple such as a tickle and some laughing. This positions you in positive manner, not as the mother or father about to take away the toys. Finally, change the scenery by carrying your child over to the window and pointing out something interesting. Maybe it's the squirrel climbing in the tree. Maybe an airplane flying overhead? Young kids have a short attention span. All you need to do is be a bit "sneaky" in changing your child's focus while maintaining a positive state of mind. Then, following the distraction, give them something new to do.

In nearly every instance, tantrums and bad behavior are the result of a certain (negative) emotional state in your child. If you want to change the behavior, you need to change the emotional state first. Language is a powerful asset that parents can use to steer children into resourceful states. After all, kids don't tend to misbehave or throw tantrums when they are laughing and smiling.